The adventures of Bob

Will nobody think of the children?

Bob — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 09:25:10 +0000

So the number of suspected child sex offenders arrested in the UK has risen threefold in the past year.

Surely arresting people’s the easy bit. Bob’s dismayed to note only one conviction is mentioned

Increase in sex offender arrests

Naming and Shaming

Bob — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 11:37:02 +0000

It takes parents 45 hours - on average - to choose a name for a child?

Bob thinks that Wombles - especially Bungo - had the right idea.

Get the right name and open doors for your child
ToonHound

Hello again

Bob — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 10:14:12 +0000

We apologise for the delayed service from JustASilly.com

Abnormal service will resume imminently (which could mean just about anything)

Kids are thick

Bob — Thu, 31 May 2007 10:38:47 +0000

So the number of failing schools has risen by 5%

That’s one more in every 20, kids, if you don’t understand percentages

Bob wants to help Tony

Bob — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 09:08:48 +0000

Tony Blair wants a legacy from his premiership, Bob hears. Surely he already has one?

blairing, vb : to react publicly without having thought things through properly.

Bob suggests looking a little closer to home

Bob — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 19:53:42 +0000

So Labour want to remove benefits for people who can’t speak English

Bob suggests they try to get school leavers who can punctuate before picking on newcomers.

Source: Unemployed ‘must learn English’

Bob is bemused

Bob — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 19:50:44 +0000

So police have released “before” and “after” photos of suspect packages

Bob can understand issuing a “before” photo, but “after”?

What message are they trying to convey?

“EXPLOSION IN YOUR POST ROOM? IF IT LOOKS LIKE THIS IT WAS A BOMB.”?

Source: Police release letter bomb images

Bob is caring for the elderly

Bob — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 21:53:13 +0000

So a whole farm of birds has been culled because some of them had bird flu.

Bob hopes the government doesn’t expand this policy to nursing homes to solve the pension crisis.

Source: Bird flu ‘will be stamped out’

Bob is confused (again)

Bob — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 18:34:01 +0000

So orange snow has been falling in Russia. Weird, but not as weird as the advice being handed out:

“Residents have been advised not to use the snow for household tasks or let animals graze on it”

Nope. I can’t think of any household tasks involving snow. Can you?

Source: Russia probes smelly orange snow

Bob is not fit for purpose

Bob — Sun, 21 Jan 2007 22:38:20 +0000

Just like John Reid, Bob feels JustASilly.com is not performing optimally.

Just like John Reid, Bob has a solution in mind.

Hello. I’m left hand pane Bob.

Hello. I’m right hand pane Bob.

Source: Home Office could be split in two